Posted by: Kristin W | October 15, 2009

Hurry Up and Wait

I had heard that a lot of the adoption process was hurry up and wait.  Now, I’m beginning to see why.  We haven’t really done much in the last two months.  We’ve been waiting for our home study to be completed.  Not sure why it’s taking so long – how much time does it take to write up the fact that we’ll be fantastic parents?  Of course, maybe it’s hard work if you have to stretch the truth.  In the meantime, we’ve been waiting and saving up some cash for the next few rounds of stuff.

We did pay our first agency fee.  With that came a new packet of material that we have to gather for our dossier that will go to the Ethiopian government.  Sadly, much of it is the same as the material we gathered for the home study, so if we had known, we could have gotten extra copies at the time.  But, it seems timing is key.  In order to officially be placed on the wait list, we have to have a completed and approved home study, be approved by the US Government to adopt internationally, and turn in the completed dossier for the Ethiopian government.  Of course, the paperwork for the dossier can’t be dated more than three months ahead of the US approval, meaning they have to be done more or less simultaneously.  Hard to figure out the timing.

While we haven’t been doing much active work on the adoption front, I have been doing a lot of thinking.  What’s really weird to me is to know that likely, I have two children who I have never met.  They are somewhere in Ethiopia right now.  I think about them a lot (if it turns out that we don’t get an older boy and a younger girl, I may have been thinking about somebody else’s kid accidentally).  I wonder if they got a meal today.  I wonder if they are sick and can’t go to the doctor.  I wonder what made them smile.  I’ve started a new plan…it’s called “push away from the table.”  I leave some of my food on my plate at every meal – especially when it’s something I really like.  I figure if my kids aren’t getting enough food, I should get at least a little bit less than usual.  (Note that as a diet plan this is failing miserably.)  Andrew thinks it’s weird (“It’s not like we can send it to them”) and I guess he’s right, but it’s my way of remembering that my whole family isn’t living in the land of excess and gluttony.

Just to follow up from a previous post, I am no longer a criminal.  I had to go the State Attorney and watch a 15-minute video about how passing bad checks is a CRIME.  (I swear they used the word crime or criminal at least 20 times…)  Anyway, 15 minutes and $72 later, I am no longer a fugitive from the law.

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