Posted by: Kristin W | March 11, 2010

The Unknown

As if the waiting weren’t hard enough, we’ve now been thrown a curve ball which multiplies the unknown factors by millions of possibilities.  After some unscrupulous adoption agencies (not ours) screwed up some adoptions in Ethiopia, the government has changed their rules and procedures.  Adoptive parents will now be required to attend the first court date in Ethiopia.  This is similar to what you’ve probably heard about in Russia or China, where the parents will go once, come back the US, then go a second time to actually take custody of the children.  Obviously, there are some real problems with this.  One is that it’s going to be a huge expense that we hadn’t budgeted for in the process.  But more importantly, I’m not sure that once I see my kids, I can get back on a plane and leave them behind.  That is one of the reasons that we were initially drawn to the Ethiopia program – because you only had to go once and it was for a short time period.

There aren’t many details available yet.  Our agency has scheduled a conference call next week, when hopefully they will have a better understanding of how this is all going to work.  But, right now, we’re imagining the following options:

  • Andrew and I will both go to Ethiopia, leave the kids behind and all four go back when it’s time to get them.  Pros: can’t think of any.  Cons: My heart may break and we’ll have to pay for two round trip airfares to Ethiopia.
  • Andrew and I will both go to Ethiopia, one of us will come back and one will stay for an extended period of time (not sure what this time frame might be yet).  Then there may or may not be a second trip with the kids.  Pros: one of us would get to bond with the kids while still in country.  Cons: one of us would be away from Sam and Eleanor and the expense of staying there (which we’re also not sure of, but think it might be cheaper than another flight).
  • We switch to the Rwanda adoption program.  It is a new program with our agency.  Pros: shorter wait times and only one two-week trip.  Cons: The program isn’t as established, therefore could have some bumps in the road, we would have to redo our dossier paperwork, and I have fallen in love with Ethiopia.

I’m sure there are countless other options, but we haven’t gotten around to those yet.

Right now, we have so many more questions than answers.  I’m definitely learning to give up control and have some patience.  But I’m not good at it yet.

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