Posted by: Kristin W | March 18, 2010

Conference Call

We had our conference call with the adoption agency yesterday to find out more about the changes in Ethiopia.  They don’t really know much yet, so it wasn’t very informational, but here are the basics:

There may be up to 8 weeks from the time families pass court to the time of the Embassy appointment, therefore staying in Ethiopia isn’t a realistic option for most.

Both parents will be required to be at court (the first trip), but unknown about the second trip.

Likely, the children will be brought to Horizon House (our agency-run orphanage) before court, so we would meet them when on the first trip.

Unknown during which trip the birth family visit would occur.

They mentioned on the call that families are basically in one of three categories:

  1. Fine, even excited about the changes and ready to go on two trips.
  2. Have logistical and/or financial concerns about two trips, but will make it happen.
  3. Two trips are a deal-breaker.

So, Andrew and I discussed last night.  I am at a 3, but moving toward a 2.  He is a 1, maybe leaning toward a 2.  Hmmm…so where does that leave us?  Well, I am willing to wait it out a while and see what happens.  They said they are in the process of developing a way to deal with the kids when the parents leave after the first visit and maybe after I hear that I will feel more comfortable.  Or, once some of the other families from our agency have been through this process and I can hear from them how it went, maybe that will win me over.  In the meantime, I just can’t imagine having to leave them behind.  The thought that we’ll probably get older children, who will know more about what’s going on, is hard.  They will meet us and be told, “here’s your new mom and dad.”  Then a few days later, we leave.  After they have already experienced so much loss, how can we do that to them?  Will they always wonder if we’re going to leave them again?  Anyway, our options are somewhat limited and I kind of feel like there aren’t any good alternatives.  Our agency also has a Rwanda program which only requires one visit (for now at least), but that would require us to complete and pay for a second dossier.  It’s hard to change my thought process, though, after we have really grown to love the idea of Ethiopia.  So, for now it’s wait and see.

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