Posted by: Kristin W | January 11, 2011

Why I Hate Tuesdays

Every Tuesday, our agency sends out a newsletter listing the number of referrals for the week.  When we first got on the list I anxiously waited for it to be posted each week and devoured every statistic and detail it contained.

Now, I dread Tuesdays.  When I see the email announcing that it’s been posted, I get a sick feeling.  I open it anyway.  Here’s what I read:

Blah, blah, blah…blah, blah, blah…NO REFERRALS.

With the exception of one fantastic week in December, there haven’t been many referrals at all.  As our one-year mark lingers in the next few weeks, it gets harder and harder to look at those empty cells on the spreadsheet.  I never dreamed that we wouldn’t get a referral before the one year mark, so I now find myself off-balance.  Yes, they told us that 3-12 months was an estimate.  Yes, I understand there are no guarantees.  Yes, I know international adoption is filled with uncertainty.  Blah, blah, blah…I didn’t think all that stuff would apply to ME!  I would breeze through the process.  I’ve always been within the bell curve – why would this be any different?  Now, I’m stuck with the reality that it could potentially be a year from now before we’re home with our kids.  Have I mentioned that I’m a planner?  (OK, some refer to it as  “control freak.”)  Now I’m just rambling…blah, blah, blah.



  1. Your blog did not drive me over the edge. I find it helpful that I am not alone. Adoption is a long process and frustrating. Thanks

  2. I feel the same way every time I get the weekly update from WHFC. O in January, a big fat donut and we’re almost half through the month. I’m blah blah blah with you.

  3. I so know what you mean. I used to look forward to the Weekly Update, and now I open it up with dread – afraid of seeing yet another chart of emptiness. Ugh.

  4. I totally understand! I so wish to see all of you who have been waiting so long to get referrals, so that I can think ok- it is the 3-12 month period they said…but as you say blah blah blah!! I have not even read the update from yesterday! I have been thinking about the whole tracking each month as most do and could not decide how we were going to do it, but I think I have decided not to track at all, as it does not matter if it comes to the said month time from and there is not a child there is nothing I can do and I think tracking it is just a painful reminder of how little control I have over this! Just a thought!

  5. I am right there with you, I used to look forward to Tuesdays but now it is just a depressing reminder that nothing is happening. I have only been waiting about 3 months and am already depressed, so kudos to you for being even a smidge patient. Hang in there!

  6. Hang in there, girl. OK…that’s all I’ve got. But, hang in there. You’re in our thoughts.

  7. I agree, blah blah blah, you know that blah blah blah =) I wonder if WHFC will be adjusting their Wait times for sibs now that we’ve passed the 14 month mark? Our case manager said WHFC re-evaluates wait times twice a year (once in December). We’ll see.

    I too don’t really enjoy the weekly updates now, though I’d freak out if I didn’t get one. If I see a sibling referral that isn’t us I may freak out. I guess I am just assuming we are next on the list, but we all know there is no way of really knowing…UGH. This is not fun at all. I will gladly accept a referral to move you up on the list =)

    I recently posted on WHFC boards for anyone waiting for sibs to add themselves to the list. Nobody replied…where are these people!!???

  8. I take that back. I just checked the spreadsheet in the Links section of the WHFC board and one person added themselves…BEHIND YOU =) Nice to see!

  9. Tuesdays are the worst! I’m a mess all day until the update comes out, and then I’m a totally different kind of mess after I read it!

    I’m so sorry you’re going through such a hard time. WH has never been good at predicting sibling wait times, but knowing that doesn’t make it easier on the families waiting!

    Best of luck to you!

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