Posted by: Kristin W | January 7, 2012

The Black Hole

Four weeks ago today we landed in Ethiopia.

Today, I have trouble describing where it is that we are.  I’m not much of a science fiction person, but I think terms like black hole or vortex fit well.  Or maybe it’s kind of like Marty McFly in Back to the Future – stuck in a strange place in time.

I know what our past was like.  We got up, got the kids ready, went to school and work, chauffeured kids to activities, had dinner, did homework, and started all over again.  Then, when we were in Ethiopia, we saw a glimpse of what the future will be like – diapers, playing soccer, bottles, hugs, and communicating with a little guy we can’t speak to.  Now we’re back at home and we’re supposed to be doing all those things in the first list.  And we do.  We get up.  We go to work.  We eat.  But it doesn’t seem real now that we’ve seen what the future will be like.  It’s so hard to explain, but I feel like something here should be different.  But it’s not yet, which is heartbreaking.

Mornings are the worst.  I wake up and automatically do a +8 calculation to figure out what time it is in Ethiopia, and therefore, know what the kids are doing right then.  (It’s a pretty predictable schedule!)  Then I lay in bed wishing I was there to do it with them.  Wishing I could be the one making their lunch or that I was tucking in them in at naptime.

Yet, I keep putting one foot in front of the other, doing the things I am required to do.  I will keep doing them a little longer and hopefully soon, it will be time to go back.  I certainly hope it happens quickly, because this twilight zone is maddening.

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Responses

  1. I can’t wait to join you in the twilight zone! I know it will be super hard, but I just can’t wait!!!!!

  2. In that twilight zone with you. So curious to know how the kids celebrated Ethiopian Genna…wishing that I was there to celebrate with them.

  3. The time between trips is really really hard. No way around it. I’m sure staying busy isn’t hard for you guys, but that did really help me before Embassy. I’m thinking of you all.

    The +8 calculation is very familiar…

  4. I can’t even imagine how hard it is. Hang in there.

  5. It’s been 6 months for me since my court date. Over two months stuck in embassy. Praying hard that tomorrow will be the day we receive the news. Because I really cant handle much more.


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